Act I, Scene 1
Mid-afternoon in Messina. The Governor’s mansion.
Enter Leonato, Hero, Beatrice and Balthasar.
Leonato
I learn in this letter, that Don Pedro of
Aragon
An area in northeastern Spain
Balthasar
He is very near by this: he was not
three leagues off when I left him.
Leonato
Action
Military campaign.
Balthasar
But few of any sort, and none of name.
Leonato
A victory is twice itself when the achiever
brings home full numbers: I find here that Don
Florentine
Someone from Florence, Italy.
called Claudio.
Balthasar
Much deserved on his part, and equally
remembered by Don Pedro, he hath born himself beyond the
promise of his age, doing in the figure of a lamb, the
feats of a lion. He hath indeed better bettered
expectation, then you must expect of me to tell you how.
Leonato
He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very
much glad of it.
Balthasar
I have already delivered him letters, and there
appears much joy in him.
Beatrice
I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from
the wars, or no?
Balthasar
I know none of that name, lady, there was
none such in the army of any sort.
Leonato
What is he that you ask for, niece?
Hero
My cousin means Signor Benedick of Padua.
Balthasar
O he's returned, and as pleasant as ever he was.
Beatrice
I pray you, how many hath he killed and
eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for
I promised to eat all of his killing
Beatrice jokingly plays on the idea that Benedick is such a poor soldier that we would never successfully kill anyone, and thus she could safely make a bet that she would eat everyone he killed, knowing no such corpses would materialize.
Leonato
'Faith Niece, you tax Signor Benedick too
much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not.
Balthasar
He hath done good service in these wars.
And a good soldier too, Lady.
Beatrice
And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he to a lord?
Balthasar
A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with
all honorable virtues.
Beatrice
It is so indeed, he is no less than a stuffed man:
But, for the stuffing – well, we are all mortal.
Leonato
You must not, sir, mistake my niece, there is
a kind of merry war betwixt Signor Benedick and her:
they never meet, but there's a skirmish of wit between them.
Beatrice
Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last
conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and now is
the whole man governed with one. Who is his companion now?
He hath every month a new sworn brother.
Balthasar
Is't possible?
Beatrice
Very easily possible.
Balthasar
I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.
Beatrice
No, if he were, I would burn my study. But
I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young
squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?
Balthasar
He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.
Beatrice
O lord, he will hang upon him like a disease:
the pestilence
The bubonic plague.
runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio, if he
have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand
ere
Before.
Balthasar
I will hold friends with you, lady.
Beatrice
Do, good friend.
Leonato
You'll ne'er run mad, niece.
Beatrice
No, not till a hot January.
Balthasar
Don Pedro is approached!
Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, Balthasar, and Don John.
Don Pedro
Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet
Fashion
Typical way.
and you encounter it.
Leonato
Never came trouble to my house in the likeness
of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should
remain, but when you depart from me, sorrow abides,
and happiness takes his leave.
Don Pedro
Charge
Duty, obligation.
think this is your daughter.
Leonato
Her mother hath many times told me so.
Benedick
Were you in doubt that you asked her?
Leonato
Signor Benedick, no, for then were you a child.
Don Pedro
You have it full, Benedick; we may guess by
this, what you are, being a man.
Leonato and Don Pedro move aside to talk.
Benedick
If Signor Leonato be her father, she would not have his head
on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is.
Beatrice
I wonder that you will still be talking, Signor
Benedick: nobody marks you.
Benedick
What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?
Beatrice
Is it possible Disdain should die while she
hath such meet food to feed it as Signor Benedick?
Courtesy itself must convert to Disdain, if you come in
her presence.
Benedick
Then is courtesy a turn-coat, but it is
certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and
I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard
heart, for truly I love none.
Beatrice
A dear happiness to women. I thank
Humour
Disposition.
had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man
swear he loves me.
Benedick
God keep your ladyship still in that mind,
so some gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate
scratched face.
Beatrice
Scratching could not make it worse, and 'twere
such a face as yours were.
Benedick
parrot-teacher
One who teaches parrots to repeat learned phrases.
Beatrice
A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
Benedick
I would my horse had the speed of your tongue;
but keep your way in God’s name, I have done.
Beatrice
You always end with a jade’s trick. I know you of old.
Don Pedro and Leonato come forward.
Don Pedro
Claudio and Signor Benedick; my dear friend Leonato hath
invited us all to stay here at the least a month, and he
heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer:
I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart.
Leonato
If you swear, my Lord, you shall not be
forsworn. [to Don John] Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being
reconciled to the Prince your brother, I owe you all duty.
Don John
I thank you, I am not of many words, but I thank you.
Leonato
Please it your grace, lead on?
Don Pedro
Your hand Leonato, we will go together.
Exit Leonato, Pedro, and John
Claudio
Note
See, pay attention to.
Benedick
I noted her not, but I looked on her.
Claudio
Is she not a modest young Lady?
Benedick
Do you question me as an honest man should
do, for my simple true judgement? or would you have
me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant
to their sex?
Claudio
No, I pray thee speak in sober judgement.
Benedick
Why i’faith me thinks she's too low for a high
praise, too tan for a fair praise, and too little for a
great praise.
Claudio
Thou think'st I am in sport, I pray thee tell me
truly how thou lik'st her.
Benedick
Would you buy her, that you inquire after her?
Claudio
Can the world buy such a jewel?
Benedick
Yea, and a case to put it into, but speak you this
Sad
Serious, non-joking.
Claudio
In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on.
Benedick
I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no
such matter. There's her cousin, if she were not possessed
with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first
of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have
no intent to turn husband, have you?
Claudio
I would scarce trust myself, though I had
sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife.
Benedick
Three score
60 years old.
score again? go to, i’faith, and thou wilt needs thrust thy
neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays:
look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you.
Enter Don Pedro and Don John.
Don Pedro
What secret hath held you here, that you
followed not to Leonato’s?
Benedick
I would your grace would constrain me to tell.
Don Pedro
I charge thee on thy allegiance.
Benedick
You hear, Count Claudio, I can be secret as a
dumb man, but on my allegiance – mark you this? –
on my allegiance – he is in love. “With who?”
now that is your grace’s part: mark
how short his answer is – with Hero, Leonato’s short daughter.
Don Pedro
Amen if you love her, for the lady is very well worthy.
Claudio
You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.
Don Pedro
By my troth, I speak my thought.
Claudio
And in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.
Benedick
And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I speak mine.
Claudio
That I love her, I feel.
Don Pedro
That she is worthy, I know.
Benedick
That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know
how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire
cannot melt out of me, I will die in it at the stake.
Don Pedro
obstinate
Stubborn.
Benedick
That a woman conceived me, I thank her: that
she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble
thanks. But, that I will hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick,
all women shall pardon me: I will live a bachelor.
Don Pedro
I shall see thee ere I die, look pale with love.
Benedick
With anger, with sickness, or with hunger,
my lord, not with love: prove that ever I lose more
blood with love, then I will get again with drinking,
pick out mine eyes with a ballad-makers pen, and
hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign
blind Cupid
In the early modern period, brothel signs were often adorned with characters from mythology.
Don Pedro
Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith,
Argument
Example, with humorous implications.
Benedick
If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me.
Don Pedro
Well, ‘in time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.’
Benedick
The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible
Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns, and set
them in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted, and
in such great letters as they can write
let them signify under my sign, “Here you may
see Benedick, The Married Man”.
Don Pedro
Well, you will temporize with the hours, in
the mean time, good Signor Benedick, repair to
Leonato’s, commend me to him, and tell him I will not fail
him at supper, for indeed, he hath made great preparation.
Benedick
I have almost matter enough in me for such an
embassage, and so I commit you.
Exit Benedick
Claudio
My liege, your highness now may do me good.
Don Pedro
My love is thine to teach, teach it but how.
Claudio
Hath Leonato any son, my lord?
Don Pedro
No child but Hero, she's his only heir.
Dost thou affect her Claudio?
Claudio
O my lord,
When you went onward on this ended action,
I looked upon her with a soldiers eye,
That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
Than to drive liking to the name of love.
But, now I am returned, and that war-thoughts
Have left their places vacant: in their rooms,
Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
All prompting me how fair young Hero is.
Don Pedro
Thou wilt be like a lover presently,
And tire the hearer with a book of words.
If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,
And I will break with her. Was’t not to this end,
That thou beganst to twist so fine a story?
Claudio
Minister
Provide medicinal aid.
That know love’s grief by his complexion!
Don Pedro
Now I will fit thee with the remedy,
Reveling
Partying, festivities.
Assume thy part
"Dress up like you."
And tell faire Hero I am Claudio,
And in her bosom I’ll unclasp my heart,
And take her hearing prisoner with the force
And strong encounter of my amorous tale:
Break
Disclose pertinent information.
And the conclusion is, she shall be thine,
In practice let us put it presently.
Exeunt.
